ah parents came back the second I considered sticking a hand down my pants. like clockwork
they didn’t go see Ji’s parents without me so that’s good
fantabulous12123 said: have you tried an electric toothbrush
yeah actually the second-biggest disappointment of my life
also today’s dream involved me using my not-so-extensive net of irl friends to buy a mail-order dildo
it was a very arduous and stressful process and I never got to even unpack the damn thing but the package the barista handed me wasn’t bigger than a cellphone and comparably flat so I’m actually really curious what the fuck my friend meant when she said ‘I found one I thought you might like, it will be a surprise’
you better live up to your name, Ibuprom Sprint Caps
#I'm a big fucking baby it's not even like I can't stand up straight#but I tend to keel over at the slightest discomfort because I'm a drama queen and I have no will to speak of#actually the pain is the least of my problems#what I hate the most is the raised temperature#and the disco party in my guts#and the fucking pimples that always come out the day or two before like tALK ABOUT ADDING INSULT TO INJURY#shark week#tmi