ah parents came back the second I considered sticking a hand down my pants. like clockwork

they didn’t go see Ji’s parents without me so that’s good

 fantabulous12123 said: i’M LAUGHING SO HAR D

yeah well you know what

go ahead I don’t blame you

 fantabulous12123 said: have you tried an electric toothbrush

yeah actually the second-biggest disappointment of my life

also today’s dream involved me using my not-so-extensive net of irl friends to buy a mail-order dildo

it was a very arduous and stressful process and I never got to even unpack the damn thing but the package the barista handed me wasn’t bigger than a cellphone and comparably flat so I’m actually really curious what the fuck my friend meant when she said ‘I found one I thought you might like, it will be a surprise’

you better live up to your name, Ibuprom Sprint Caps